O, Lord Jesus

I am so unworthy of Your presence.

I squandered the gifts You gave me. I rebelled in what I thought was freedom, but it was only death. And I gained a reputation. O, Jesus, I gained a reputation. And I was known. They knew what kind of woman I was. They knew that I was a sinner. Even the world knew. I wasn’t dirty just by the church’s standards - I was dirty beyond the world’s standards. 

And I heard. I knew that You were there and so I came. I came with an alabastar jar of perfume. I didn’t deserve to even see Your face, so I stood behind You. And I wept. O, my Lord, I wept. And those tears of brokenness and repentance flowed like a river to Your feet. I knew my failure. I knew. I fell to my knees. I was so undeserving even of this, my Lord. I was undeserving of the privilege to be on  the ground behind you, where I couldn’t see Your eyes, weeping onto Your precious feet. I wiped them dry with my hair and I poured out the fragrance of my alabastar jar. You deserve so much more than this. You deserve so much more than some perfume from a sinful woman.

And You turned to me. You turned to me and You said it out loud so that the rest of the world around me could hear. You told me: Your sins are forgiven. You declared it. My many sins have been forgiven. My many stains have been washed clean. For those who have been forgiven much, love much. O Lord, open my eyes. Open my eyes to see how wretched my sin is, that I may know the depth of Your forgiveness and overflow in praise, in a fragrance of praise pleasing to You.