A word for those with eating disorders & self harm struggles

My body was broken so that you don’t need to break yours

My blood was spilled so that you don’t need to spill yours

Beloved, the cost of My life was enough to cover Yours. Trust Me and live.

Sin is crouching at the door

2012. One day in.

Sin is crouching at the door.

Most people make resolutions, and we make them for many different reasons. Maybe you’ve made them for yourself; maybe your reasoning for wanting to work hard is to get a promotion, to be recognised for your hard work. Maybe you’ve made them because you think God won’t love you unless you make yourself perfect. Maybe you think nobody will want to date you or marry you if you don’t change. Maybe you  made them to please other people, like your parents. 

But, perhaps after prayer and being convicted, you’ve made them because in your heart you know that your life isn’t glorifying Christ, and you want it to. Maybe you’ve been relying on your boyfriend or your girlfriend too much, or let go of time with the Lord in your busy-ness. Maybe you’ve been distracted and you want to fix your eyes on Jesus again.

I don’t know what resolutions you made. You might have parts of the old flesh that you still need to cut off from the new creation. Perhaps you want 2012 to be the year that you stop procrastinating, gossiping, lusting, binge drinking, self-harming, purging. Perhaps it’s the year you want to let go of the porn addiction. Maybe you know you need to stop falling for the wrong kind of people. Maybe this is the year you want to stop spending all your money on worthless things.

Just know this: sin is crouching at the door.

The enemy hates when you are determined to fight in this battle. The enemy hates when you are determined to let go of addictions and look to the Cross. And he will do whatever he can to stop you.

He will lie to you. He will show you all the “good” of forbidden things. He will bombard you with reasons about why you should keep holding on. You will be more tempted in your determination to let go than before. If you are determined to start being wiser with your money, it may be that in the next few months, there will be potential purchases that you want more than anything else you’ve bought before. If you want to rise early to meet with the Lord, you may wake up feeling sleepier than you anticipated and want to just hide under the covers for a few more hours. If you want to stop falling for those who don’t really love you, you will start finding yourself more attracted to those who don’t love you. If it’s to let go of an addiction, you will find yourself itching to stumble more and more. If it’s to view your body as the LORD views it, beautiful and without flaw, then the enemy will keep telling you that you are ugly - and he will tell you over and over again.

Brothers and sisters, know that I am praying for you. I pray for your protection, I pray for strength, and I pray that you will hear His voice, when He says:

Beloved, let go.

I have bigger plans for you. I want to lead you out of the wilderness, and I want you to lean on Me. But you have to let go. Listen not to the enemy. He lies to you, for he hates you. But I will always speak to you in truth, faithfully, for I am the Truth. He will tell you not to listen. He will tell you that I am withholding pleasure from you. But beloved, know this. I withhold no good thing from you. In My presence, your cup will overflow, and you will lack no joy. Come away, beloved. Come away from the old, for I have made you into a new creation. Sin is crouching at the door, beloved. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it. I will give you the strength. You have all you need, and I will be with you always. Just let go, and trust Me.

I am Jesus, the One that you’re not leaning on

I was the  One who brought you out of brokenness and depressin in the first place. Will you not trust that I will keep carrying you? I care for you. I have everything you need. You won’t be put to shame; I won’t let that happen. Cling to Me. I know it’s going to be hard work - but I will equip you and bring strength to your bones. When you turn to Me, I will sustain you and you will commune with Me in such a way that people can’t help but see Me when they look at you. I won’t put you to shame. The next year will be hard - that’s why you must keep coming to Me, for My burden is light and My yoke is easy. The next few weeks will be difficult, but you must remember that it is I who will fight for you. And the next year is to be My year, not yours. I love you. Remember that I am a rewarder of those who seek Me with all they have.

Trust Me, beloved.

I am Jesus, the One you will come up out of the wilderness leaning on.

I want to heal you, but you have to let go.

You need to stop gripping onto it. Let go, child.There is dignity in dependence. You were made to lean on Me. Let go. You need to release that control. I will give you peace that this world doesn’t understand - but you need to let go. You need to lay down your burdens at My feet. Come to me, and I will take them off you. But you need to be willing to let go. Submit all things to me. Those things that cause you anxiety - be it your relationships, your finances, your study, the direction of your life - whatever it may be, submit those things to me. Trust that I, who made you, will make your paths straight when you seek my guidance. I love you dearly. I gave up My Son for you.Will I not also bring you through this?

Love and live generously

Love those who take more than they give, because I loved you when all you did was take.

Love those who take all your energy to love, because I loved you with all of Mine.

Love those who you want to give up on, because I love you and never gave up on you.

Love with a crazy love, because that’s how I love you.

See how I loved you. See how I love you. See it and understand. Love your enemies, My child. Love your enemies and trust that I will reward you. Give and don’t expect in return.

Love and live generously, and let Me make you beautiful, beautiful like My Son.

You knew

I declared to You my undying devotion; even though they fall away, I will not. And I insisted, yes I insisted - even if I have to die with you, I will not deny you. I saw it in Your eyes, but I was convinced.

But You knew. You knew when I gave You my empty promises. You knew when You were praying alone and I was falling asleep. You knew when the guards came, and You knew when they seized You. You knew when all ran away, but I followed behind at a distance. You knew about my tentative loyalty. And You knew. You knew when You were in their custody and I was outside, denying you again and again and again. And You knew when the rooster crowed.

And yet You said nothing when they spoke against You. You said nothing when even by the law, You were innocent, with no witnesses sharing the same testimony. You said nothing when they demanded to know what You had to say about it all. Oh, my Lord, You told me to put away my sword. You told me to put away my sword. You let them take You, You let them try You, You let them mock You and hit You and yell. “PROPHESY! PROPHESY!” to the King of all Kings, the One who was with the Father in the beginning, and the One who knew all.

And You knew, on the cross, all my failings - and You still breathed Your last.
Amazing love, how can it be that You, my King, should die for me?

O Beloved,
Lean on My grace and trust and hope in Me, for there is no other way. You are so broken, but I knew. I knew when we went to the garden, and I knew when you denied me, and I knew when I breathed my last. You are forgiven. I love you.

we seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes

Yes, beloved, the land is exceedingly good. It flows with milk and honey. The fruit is delicious and the sun is warm. Yes, beloved, there is a battle before you, and yes, you are weak and small. Yes, beloved, the cities are fortified and those you have to fight against are powerful.

Beloved, you have a choice. Do not listen to lies, do not believe that you cannot attack because they are stronger than you. Beloved, fight back. Drop the razor. Shield your eyes from the screen. Step away from the mirror. Walk away from that destruction. Beloved, you seem like grasshoppers against this darkness, but know this: I am with you. I am stronger, I am bigger, I am greater, I am mightier, I am wiser. I am the One who promised you that land. I am the one who offers you that freedom.

Beloved, will you shy away from the healing and the life that I have offered you because you fear the enemy is too big for Me? Beloved, will you keep holding onto the very things that keep you in slavery? My love, do you really believe it would be better to return to Egypt?

Look at the stars, beloved! Look at the sun, beloved! Feel the wind, beloved! I AM who I AM. Victory is already mine. Look and see the freedom before you. Look and see the land, flowing with milk and honey. Have faith, and do not be afraid. Go up and take possession of the land, for I will lead you into that land, that land flowing with milk and honey, and I will give it to you.

And I think He’s speaking today:

Beloved, why are you here? Beloved, what is your reason today? Are you here for the bread of life? For I have promised, those who eat of My flesh and drink of My blood will live. Those who receive the bread of life will never hunger again.

Beloved, why are you here? Beloved, what is your reason today? Are you here for the living water? For I have promised, those who drink of the living water will never thirst again.

Beloved, why are you here? Beloved, do you truly trust that in My house you shall feast and be abundantly blessed? Do truly believe that My presence satisfies? Do you truly believe that if the rest of your life is stripped away - the work, the money, your reputation, your friends - do you truly believe that I am enough to satisfy you? For I have promised that I have withheld no good thing from you. Do you truly believe that in Christ you receive riches?

Beloved, why are you here? Why are you reading My Word today? Are you here to fill your head with knowledge just so you can earn respect from others? Are you here just to find quotes to put on your blog? Beloved, why are you here? Why are you praying today? Are you praying to present me with yet another wishlist for a comfortable life? Or are you here because you want to taste and see that I am good? Have you come because you know that in My house there are rivers of delights, streams of honey and cream?

Beloved, why are you here? What is your reason for drawing near to Me today?

my final(ish), slightly scattered thoughts on prophecy for the evening

I’m still learning about this gift, and what it is. I’m still learning what to do with it. If you’re wanting to know more information about whether or not you have this gift, I am praying that He will guide you. I am praying that if He is speaking words into your heart, that you will use them to encourage others, but that you will use them responsibly. I pray that others who have spent more time on this issue will be helpful for you; speak to the elders at your church, and take a look at some of the resources I’ve suggested.

Please pray that I will be humble with this gift, please pray that I will improve in the timing that I choose to utter words I feel I’ve received, and please pray that I will leave room for others to test my words.

And most of all, remember that God speaks to each and every one of you through the Scriptures. His Word is alive and it will speak to you every time you choose to listen, so brothers and sisters, let us delight in hearing His voice daily through His Word!

Beloved, why are you hiding your light?

Beloved, why are you hiding your light? You are the light of the earth, My child. My Spirit dwells in you! The Spirit is one of boldness and courage, not one of timidity. So stop being afraid. Trust that I am awesome in power. Trust that I am able to melt hearts of stone. Trust that nobody is too far gone for Me to give them life. If I am with you - if I am for you - then who could stand against? Do not be afraid to be My witness. Do not be afraid to speak My truth. Beloved, shine. My Spirit is working. The Day of My return is coming, and all will bow down to Me. Remember that, beloved, and shine.

O beloved, why are you keeping secrets?

O My beloved, why do you hide from Me? Why do you keep those parts of your heart hidden from Me? Why are you afraid to bring them to Me? I love you dearly and I know your brokenness. Come now, beloved, give Me your brokenness. I am gentle. I will treat you with tenderness. I will carry you and I will heal you. Turn to Me, beloved. Bring the broken pieces of your heart and give them to Me. Do not be afraid, beloved. It is I. It is I, the God who has carried you since your birth, who calls you. It is I, the God who gave up all to suffer for you, that is calling your name. Come to Me, beloved. There is no need to be afraid. My arms are wide open.

please pray

I’ve recently made the decision to begin sharing more prophecy with my brothers and sisters that I know in person. Not many know that I have this spiritual gift and it’s time they were edified by it too. Please pray that I will only speak His words, and that they will be received.